Wednesday 2 November 2011

Online Dating- Is it worth the time?

Life is a cycle that begins with love. God loved you and so he created you. Your father and mother loved each other, and so they started dating. They went out of their way just to meet each other or rather create time for each other so that they could simply create you.

When you were born, you began to feel. Hunger became part of you. You started feeling pain when you were spanked on the ass by the doctor. You started shedding tears when you miss your mum. Sometimes even the nanny did not quite understand you because you only mode of deep expression was to cry. The single time you would be understood by anyone was if you would smile. You see a smile from a baby speaks a thousand or even more words. Most of the times it means that you are happy and relaxed. It means that all is well within you. All of a sudden, it may turn upside down, and tears start streaming down your face. You thought that since the people around you understood your smile then definitely they will understand your frown. Quite often this is not the case. They even begin to get angry at you, but you are simply telling them that you have pooped yourself. You start to wonder in that simple baby brain of yours “Is pooping wrong? Can’t can't I just help myself without all the fuss?” You are stuck in reverse.

Sooner than you know it, you begin to grow. Your needs start to change. You no longer require a napkin to protect you from going to the toilet on yourself. You simply just walk to the toilet and flash it after you. After a few years, you start getting attracted to people in a way that you cannot understand. You start to feel that you cannot go a day without talking to them. In other terms, you begin to feel an unexplained love.

This has led to the development of online dating services. An online dating service is where you can get dating ideas if you are out of them. In other words, you can ask dating questions. You can also simply date online. There are many online dating sites where you can ask relationship questions, issues on dating women, issues on how to find a date, issues on how to meet people and even where to find love online. Online dating is a platform where women seeking men or men seeking women can be found. If you are into a different complexion, dating sites make it possible for inter racial dating. On line dating has led to an increase in interracial dating especially among LA singles. The most prominent dating service is free online dating. We can learn from mistakes of other people when dating. Dating in LA can teach you how to date online. Therefore, if you are single in LA, there are singles in LA just waiting for you.

Reclaiming the Lost Love through Flowers

Have you spent like a decade or more in your marriage? Are you noticing a significant decrease in the level of intimacy you are showing to each other? Maybe it's your hectic work schedule that is taking all your time such that you are forgetting you have a wife to give attention and love.

Coming tired from work, you cantt even ask your wife how was her day like. You can't even bother to eat the food she prepared for you because you are too tired or you are still full from a dinner meeting with a client. You can't even seem to notice that she has pampered herself and made herself attractive just for you to take a glance of her.

But these things don't hinder her to get your very precious attention. She's wearing cosmetics and perfume eve she's just home. When you come home at night, she's dressed up in her sexy lingerie, just to be ignored again. Until you noticed yourself that she has lost interest in these things.

Coming home at night, there's a food prepared for you but your wife is soundly snoring at your room. Waking her up would just result in turning to the other side of the bed. This isn't the scenario you would want to end up.

Making matters worse, you noticed one time that your wife has slept with the computer still on. Browsing through the history of the websites she had visited exploded a surprise before your eyes. Your wife is visiting the sites of online florists daily.

Your wife has now been consuming her whole time browsing through the galleries of online florists. She was dreaming of receiving some of those beautiful flower arrangements comprised of her most favourite flowers. The sight of these websites should have made you ponder that your wife is traveling back in time. She's traveling back to the days when you'd suddenly come from her behind and hand a bouquet of beautiful red Kunming roses for her.

Munching over to her reminiscence of these sweet moments along with the things she had done in the past brings you to a realization that you ignored the attempts she had made to ignite the spark of your love again.

If this is your case, there is no better thing for you to do than to surprise her with a flower delivery service in an instance when she's not expecting it. With the assistance of an online florist such as www.gogoflorist.com, you can select a flower arrangement that your wife will best like. Choose arrangements comprised of flowers she wants the most. Ensure that the colours are her likes too. Include an order of the wine you both enjoy to drink while you were just dating. Instruct the florist to have the flowers delivered before you get home.

You'll be surprised in return for the thing you think is a simple task you've done. But for your wife it's an important time she'll never forget for it's when you have responded and brought back the lost spark in your relationship. Be prepared for hugs and kisses she'll shower you. Don't forget to drink the wine and grab the opportunity to profess your renewed love towards an intimate night that will both take you to satisfaction.See how a bunch of roses can make a difference in your relationship!

Grab The New York Free Public Divorce Records Online

Along with other vital public accounts,New York Divorce Records is maintained at the Vital Records Office of the State Department of Health. Anyone can view and use it provided proper documents are complied with. As a norm, a small admin fee is in place for each file copy, which can be paid by check, personal checks or money order.

The office mentioned above holds records of divorces that happened since January 1963 up to the present. Files from 1847-1963 can be acquired at the County Clerk in the place where the marriage was dissolved. In addition, the New York State Archives can give the divorce decrees that were released by the Court of Chancery from 1787-1847.

Many New Yorkers and other people who apply for this file must remember that this paper is sealed by the government for a century. In requesting for this data, you have to ensure that your application contains specific details like the full name of the husband, the first and maiden name of the wife, the where and when it happened, your purpose for getting the document and the relationship of the person requesting to the individual involved.

Cases about couples getting separated these days are becoming rampant partly because of one’s negligence. People who tend to be so lenient in allowing anyone to enter into their lives are most likely prone to being victimized by such undesirable incident. This information is specifically helpful for those who are currently dating someone, or are already in a relationship with someone or probably planning to tie the knot with the person.

The details included in this sort of file are the names of the couple concerned, residents, and the date and place of the separation. It also uncovers the salient reasons why the marriage ended, ages, children’s names and custody, settlement, alimony and other facts. Your county court’s office can give you either the original separation decree or the divorce certificate.

Through the Freedom of Information Act, Public Divorce Records exist. Although not everybody was happy with its availability, more and more people have experienced its advantages. Looking for this kind of reports has now become easier and faster due to the advancement of the Internet. Individuals doing the search can now get the services of either the free or paid providers online. Giving your trust to that service provider that requires you to pay a small amount is highly recommended since it assures high-standard reports.

Does He Want Me Back? Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You


Does he want me back? It is a question you are in search for an answer to. You can't do it. Despite the effort you make, moving on without your ex boyfriend will not just happen. How can it? You still have strong feelings for him and getting over him and falling in love with another man is futile. The problem you are encountering at the moment is you aren't clear in your mind where his feelings are. You observe a few signs that you believe signify he still has feelings for you however you are in doubt. You fret that you are reading way more into his actions than he have in mind. Short of asking him if he still loves you, is there any other means to know? There are in fact several signs in his actions towards you.

To determine whether he wants you back can be found in how often he gets in touch with you. A lot of men are feeling just as susceptible as women do after a relationship ends. They don’t want to take any risk again so soon so they keep things close to the vest. Despite the fact that he may not show up and say he wishes you'd offer him a another opportunity, the way he acts is going to say it for him. If your ex boyfriend still calls you then he still has lingering feelings for you. If he wasn’t interested in you, he won’t contact you again. The fact that he calls to make small talk or wants to see how you are confirms that he still cares about you.

Has your ex boyfriend started dating again? The answer to this question is going to reveal to you much regarding where his feelings are. If he has moved on, he'd have begun dating another girl. If he has gone weeks or months after the relationship ended and still hasn't started dating again, then it’s obvious that he still cares about you. Just reflect back to the time you broke up in the past with a man you didn't have any feelings for. You probably began dating another person soon, right? If your boyfriend wasn't hoping that the two of you would get back together again he would have done the same.

Also, take note of how much he talks about your past together. If a man regrets about what happened in the past, it is very telling. He wishes to have those closeness and feeling back. You ought to as well pay close attention to if he talks concerning how much he sincerely regrets certain things. After a relationship ends, if a man still has strong feelings for his girlfriend, he is going to want to erase the past. This is a huge sign to assist you gain insight into whether or not he really wants you back.

Analyzing the Love-Sex Chemistry

Let's analyze some of the problems that lovers face most often.

Lack of trust on either side is the major problem creator in a relationship. Women chiefly succumb to unnecessary suspicion resulting in an eventual break up with their partners. On the other hand, men hate being nagged randomly. However, this does not mean that men can take their partners for granted. The best thing a couple can do is to allow equal space to each other; confide in their darkest secrets, and try to figure out mutual problems.

It's very important for couples to know each other. No two persons are alike and hence one must respect each other's identity. One should not try to make an argument out of insignificant things. However, if arguments take place, make sure that you attempt reconciliation. Showing that 'you care' is one of the best kept secrets in a loving relationship.

Notwithstanding the above-mentioned issues, there crops up some intimate problems, which demand more attention and perhaps even professional support. Many partners shy away from the most wonderful gift of God to mankind- sex. Sexual encounter is an inevitable aspect of conjugal life and trying to remain celibate post marriage is quite illogical. Failure as an ideal sex partner might be another trouble in your sex life. A situation might arise wherein your passion has lost its erstwhile spark or you have been unable to light a single spark in the first night itself! Dissatisfaction in a relationship often calls for extra-marital affairs or adultery. The result- more trouble, more pain.

These love pangs can best be sorted with the help of professional sex experts or 'sexperts'. The sexpert can guide you to tackle your love challenges wittingly. With their guidance and support, you can actually sail smoothly over the intermittent waves of love and sex.

In the beginning, when love is new, romance, courting and conquest are aphrodisiacs, stimulants that increase our appetite for sexual union. Eventually the chase ends, hearts are won, and lifetime pledges are made. The happy couple says "I do," strolls off into the sunset together, destined to be lovers forever.

So what happens? The newness fades, the passion flees. Where does it go? Does it get mortgaged along with the house? Disposed with the diapers? Years ago, Mary, age 49, shyly told her family doctor that she had lost interest in having sex with her husband. She was told this was a natural event, that women eventually lose interest and that's the way it is. For some women, she was told, it comes earlier. Today, Mary might be offered testosterone patches to fire up her lagging libido!

Martin, age 59, is having erectile difficulties. Viagra® to the rescue!

Times may have changed, but is it really just a story of diminishing hormones and loss of blood flow? The popularity of these new biologically-based treatments attest to their effectiveness as sexual aids. Yet we continue to yearn for the fulfillment of a deeper intimacy. Reviving the mechanics of our sex life may help, but it does not fully address the hunger in our hearts. We desire even more than the wonderful climax of sexual release. We crave a connection with our partner's soul. We ache to embrace a love that lights up our eyes, that enlivens our very being.

Picking The Right Marriage Records





Conducting a search for Illinois Marriage Records nowadays posts no difficulty at all. This state had made updating and maintaining such records as one of its priority tasks. These records are said to be significant source in establishing family roots and genealogy studies. Illinois State Archives and Illinois State Genealogical society had joined together its resources to be able to compile millions of records tracing back as early as 1763 until 1900s. The advent of technology made the efforts possible to place the information online and now information tracking is a lot comfortable and quick. As long as the record you are trying to trace can be found at the statewide marriage index or list, then the possibility of obtaining search results is within your reach.

No restrictions are imposed in the search for the said state’s marriage records unlike other vital records such as birth or death, the said information is not confidential. As long as the request form is properly filled up and corresponding fees are paid, then one can readily accessed and request for marriage record.

The information that you can get from a typical Illinois marriage record is both the spouses’ pertinent personal details to mention, names, and their parents’ names too. The date of marriage and the state or county where the marriage occurred. Other relevant information such as the name of the officiating priest as well as the witnesses of the ceremony. In this case, license insurance may also be included.

Illinois is said to be the world’s transportation hub. In census, it is the fifth most populous state in the US. Hence, to be able to give excellent service to its public domain and citizens in terms of information accessibility of marriage records, the state finds it important to continuously update such.

Web search for these data comes in handy and quick. One does not need to be a computer wizard though. Particulars will be asked from you and to be key in the search engine then in just a few minutes you get to have the information on hand. Although options for free sites or commercial sites are offered, the use of the information you are trying to search is dependent on your need, hence it doesn’t matter if you avail of free or paid services as long as the data that you obtain will serve the purpose.

A lot of things had been said about how online services are beneficial to accessing marriage records. Undeniably, internet creation is one of the greatest innovations at all times. The world of research is done with more ease and comfort without having to worry on spending much and exerting efforts as well.

Why Don't You Speak Up For Yourself?

My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, "Why didn't you speak up for yourself?" here are the most common answers I receive:

"I want to keep the peace."

"I don't want to rock the boat."

"I didn't know what to say."

"It won't change anything."

"He/she won't listen."

"We will just end up fighting."

"He/she will make it my fault."

Charlie is in his early 70's, and has been married to Esther for 43 years. Charlie and Esther love each other very much, but there has always been a problem in their marriage, and Charlie finally decided to get some help with it.

The issue is that Esther often speaks to Charlie with a harsh, demeaning, parental tone - telling him what to do. All these years, Charlie's way of dealing with this has been to comply - to be the 'nice' guy and try to 'keep the peace.' But every once in a while he suddenly blows up, scaring and hurting Esther. She has asked him over and over to tell her what's upsetting him so much, but when he has, she doesn't listen and turns it back onto him. In his mind, he has been in a no-win situation. The last blow-up led Charlie to seek my help.

The problem is that Charlie had never said anything to Esther in the moment about her tone. When he did say something, after the fact, Esther would have no idea what he was talking about, so she would explain, defend, and turn it back on him.

"I don't know what to say," said Charlie.

"Charlie, how do you feel inside when Esther speaks to you with a harsh, demeaning tone?"

"I feel small, diminished, like I did when my father would criticize me. I feel like a helpless little kid. I hate it. It hurts me."

"And when you suddenly blow up, what do you say?"

"I tell her to shut up."

"Are you telling her to shut up about what she is saying?"

"Yes."

"So you don't say anything about her tone of voice or how you feel?"

"No, I don't think I have ever said anything about her tone of voice."

"Charlie, if you were to say something in the moment, not about what she is saying, but about how she is saying it, what would you say?"

"I'd say, 'Your tone of voice is harsh and diminishing and it hurts me.'"

"Great! Would you be willing to say this the next time Esther is harsh with you?"

"Yes!"

The next week, Charlie reported that he and Esther had a great week together. He had quietly responded the way we had rehearsed and he was shocked at how Esther responded. Instead of getting angry, defensive, explaining or attacking, she said, "You're right. I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me."

All this time Charlie was certain that if he spoke up for himself, things would get worse. Instead, he discovered that Esther was very open to hearing his feelings and experience when it was in the moment, and was thrilled that he finally spoke up for himself.

Telling others what they are doing wrong, or trying to get them to stop doing what they are doing will generally lead to a difficult interaction. But speaking up for yourself with the intent of taking loving care of yourself will make you feel much better, even if the other person doesn’t hear you. At least you are hearing yourself, and this is what is important. And you might be surprised at how the other responds!

Ideas for Your 40th Wedding Anniversary

The 40th wedding anniversary is a huge milestone since you’ve been married for a whole four decades. This accomplishment should be celebrated with time spent together on your anniversary. This list of ideas incorporates ruby ideas, since rubies are the traditional and modern gift for this anniversary. Here are some interesting ways to incorporate a ruby theme into your wedding anniversary.

The deep fiery colour of rubies represents passion, and you know that you need to spend time together to cultivate passion in your marriage. For your 40th wedding anniversary, use these ruby themed ideas to spend time together and renew your passion for one another.

Walk the Ruby Country

In the heart of the Devon countryside is a rural area known as the Ruby Country. Here, you can stay in a local bed and breakfast and explore local gift and pottery shops. Wonder on foot each day to see what natural wonders the area has to offer, and enjoy one another’s company in the midst of the great outdoors.

Pick a Family Heirloom

There are several companies that takes regular photographs and turns them into high quality oil paintings. Break out a bottle of ruby coloured wine while you sort through photographs from your forty years of marriage to choose the perfect one to be created into an oil painting. Whether you choose a photo from your wedding day or one of the entire family, this painting will become one of your most treasured family heirlooms.

Whale Watching off the Dorset coast

There are plenty of sail boats (including one called the Ruby J!) that run whale watching cruises off the coast of Dorset, allowing you to enjoy views of the Jurassic West Bay. Then stay at one of the nearby Bed and Breakfast that offer warm meals and cosy rooms near the coast, so you can wrap up your trip here for a relaxing end to your weekend away.

Adding real rubies to these ruby themed ideas is easy, too. Present your loved one with ruby jewellery or ruby coloured clothing when you’re enjoying one of these fun ruby themed activities together. It will be a 40th wedding anniversary you’ll never forget

Communication in a Relationship

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style – trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I think you…”

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t work – go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with “You always …”

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you – especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, “you shouldn’t feel like that.”

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person’s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Summary

As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

What Everybody Ought to Know About a Wedding Registry

A crucial part of planning a wedding is also planning for and creating a wedding registry. This is best done as early as possible. The bridal registry is extremely important if you want to avoid duplicate gifts. Starting a registry early lets your guests have enough time to choose what items they would like to give you. You may not have a comprehensive wedding registry ready early on, but make it large enough for your guests to have enough options to browse and choose.

You also need to plan what kind of registry you want and what kinds of items and products need to be a part of it. The ideal wedding registry for a young couple is one that lists household items. Such a registry is perfect for a couple starting a new life together. Let’s take a look at some of the wedding gifts that can be a part of the ideal wedding registry.

Kitchenware

A lot of young couples can benefit from creating a kitchenware wedding registry. Having a well-equipped kitchen means you can create and share more meals together at home, entertain at home, and cook whenever you want. Kitchenware items can range from regular silverware and glassware to appliances like mixers, food processors, toasters, and coffee machines.

Home Furnishings and Linen

Equally as useful for a couple as a kitchenware registry is a home furnishing items and home linen registry that includes products like tablecloths, bedding, and bath towels. You can include items like duvet sets, bed sheets, pillows, bed skirts, and blankets. It is also a good idea to include home furnishings and home linen products like tablecloths, towels, cloth napkins, curtains, rugs, and more.

Home Decor

A wedding registry which covers home décor can also be a very helpful for a young couple. You can choose from furniture, decorative items and collectibles, wall pictures, photo frames, and lamps. Home décor that looks good and is also functional can be of great use to a couple starting a new life together.

Create your wedding registry with care and loving attention. After all, it’s for your future and can give you a wonderful start to this exciting new phase of your life!

Saturday 29 October 2011

How to Get a Guy to Like You - From the Very First Date


There are 2 ways to understand how to get a guy to like you on your first date. The first way is to Ask Your Girlfriends, consult with your mother or aunt, or maybe read Cosmopolitan every week. The common thing about these sources - They all come from Women.

We women spend an amazing amount of time dissecting and analyzing every little aspect of relationships, men and life in general.

That, unfortunately, doesn't mean that we understand men better (than men).

The second way to know how to get a guy to want you is to Finally listen to what Men Are Saying... This may not be easy. We will hear things that we don't want to hear and we will have to accept things that may sound sexist and annoying. None the less - They will still be true!

If you ask your girlfriends or go through women's magazines, you will find that this is how to act on a first date:

1. Don't order pricy drinks or food.

2. Act like someone who will get along with his buddies

3. Don't wear anything too exposing and revealing and never use any curse words - so he knows he can introduce you to his mother.

4. Don't talk much and if possible don't talk at all - just listen.

I am sure you have heard this advice before, right?

While these tips can be good for some type of men, they are hardly the things that will affect his first impression of you (which of course is the most important one)

What's the Problem With Women-Tips for First Dates?

Most of the time, we women do not understand the purpose of a first date. We tend to focus on compatibility, attraction and how many relationship he had in his past. These are all important things, but not on a first date.

After a long research about how to get a guy to like you (and a lot on interrogation of the opposite sex), I have found these 3 simple rules to follow on your first date. They are all related to one thing: Concentrate on conveying your femininity.

Rule #1 - Wear a Dress

Men like women in dresses because dresses make you look soft, tender and it makes him want to cuddle you and protect you from the harms of the world.

Rule # 2 - Let Him Speak First

If you allow him to be the first one to speak on your first date will make him feel respected. Men like to feel respected even more than being loved. It's a fact of life and it is an ancient fact of life. It maybe annoying, but it's still true.

Rule #3 - Smile Often

Smiling at him often will simply make him feel attractive. It's so easy yet so true. Men want to feel attractive and this is an easy way to achieve that.

Follow these 3 simple rules and he will beg for a second date. Wait 2 more dates and then you can start to express yourself much more and let him know who you really are. By than he will be much more motivated to get to know you as a person.

After Infidelity: Make up or Break up


Relevance Info Services, an international publisher of quality information, approached me as an expert in relationship issues with the question if I could evaluate a number of websites that offer methods and tips for saving relationships and prevent a divorce. The fact is that, with respect for all the well meant kind of information, there are many offerings on the internet that are not based upon psychological principals. A lot of the presented materials cause more harm than any good. It is not composed by experts and that’s certainly not what you want. If you are in serious trouble the situation demands a professional approach by people that are very experienced in solving relationship issues.

This article is about what to do after infidelity. More articles will follow about related subjects.

An infidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or disloyalty to one’s partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner’s trust or if you lie to your partner or tell them half-truths. Betraying your partner may inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. There are many things that can occur in the wake of an infidelity. If you are married, an infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed relationship, it could lead to a break up.

So what happens after infidelity occurs in your relationship?

There are distinct stages a relationship goes through in the wake of an infidelity.

1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. Just like it says, your emotions go for a roller coaster ride, up and down, round and round and it’s a bit hard to figure out exactly where you are.

2. Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person who was cheated upon. In this stage, the person affected tries to make sense of the betrayal. They may ask for more detail about the affair or retreat into themselves or quietly seek help from others regarding the issue.

3. Trust Building Stage. This stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time, eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.

After an infidelity occurs, you may still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don’t lose heart, there is hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your love.

• Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you

• Heartfelt apologies feel true when you hear them

• Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal

• Cuts off all contact with the third party

• Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only you

• Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened

• Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you

If both of you are willing to participate in a deep, open, and honest conversation regarding your relationship and how you would like it to progress, there is a good chance you will be able to work through your issues.

If, on the other hand, your partner is not open to discussing these things with you and not demonstrating any of the possible reconcilement signs listed above, it may be time to cut your losses and get out. Additional signs that it might be time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you. They may go out alone more often and may be making clandestine phone calls or working late hours. You might even receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it’s probably a good idea to break up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is doomed to fail.

After an infidelity occurs, be aware of any signs that may indicate your partner’s willingness to stay and work it out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal

I Broke Up With My Boyfriend and I Miss Him - Can I Get Him Back?

I left my sweetheart, it was my choice. However after that I realized it had been a terrible mistake and that I would like him back again.

What to do if that were your circumstances? To begin with you don't need to blame yourself and say" I split up with my sweetheart and I miss him". All that you should do is to create a reasonable strategy and try taking some action.

The very first thing you need to do would be to determine whether or not you want him back again or not. That means you'd like to learn the reason why you left him in the first place.

Knowing the reason why you left him and you feel that you simply overreacted by dumping him, you may have an urge to get him back again. It's your choice and you've got to consider it. Keep reading if you would like the man you're dating back again.

-- Tell him you want him back again, give him a green signal. I hear you requesting how I can give him indicators. The reply is: tell him you think about him daily, send him a text, an e-mail, leave a message upon their voice mail, call him up and ask about his family members. The only real disclaimer here's: don't go crazy or he'll believe that you're stalking him.

-- If you get a few positive indicators from him, simply tell him the reason why you have split up with him. Be truthful and straightforward. Simply tell him if it had been something personal or something like he messed up and let him consider it.

-- At that point, he'll get two messages; the first is you still worry about him and you are wiling to get back together with him. The second message is you still have trust when you are sincere and open up with him and you're simply ready to do anything to reunite with him. This makes the picture ready for your next stage.

-- Ask to meet him. Whenever he concurs make certain you look stunning. Males are much more inclined to looks than to almost anything else. Whenever he sees exactly how stunning you are, he'll have more good reasons to respond.

-- Don't rush issues; give him time so he can decide. This will depend on how long it's been since you split up with him. However, you have to put a timeline to this procedure, question lightly if he really wants to get back together with you. If he appears hesitant question and allow him to speak with you regarding his worries. In the event that he doesn't wish to speak, leave him and prepare to move on.

Keep in mind that you don't need to change who you are to allow him to get back together with you. Behave normally and be good. Keep in mind the reason why he had fallen deeply in love with you in the first place and then try to return to those old sweet times.

Lead him to realize that you want to reunite with him, and be sincere with him. This should help you if you miss your boyfriend and you need to make up with him.

Ways to Get Your Girlfriend Back - Letting Her Go to Get Her Back again

It does not necessarily mean that you are giving up on the romantic relationship, nor does it signify that you no lengthier care about your girlfriend. Somewhat, letting her go signifies giving her the time and space away from you that permits her to miss you and know what she had. It's human nature to want elements only when we don't have them any more. When you efficiently offer with your private emotions, accept the breakup, and let her go, you shift the energy dynamic back in your favor.

When you allow your girlfriend go just after a breakup, you deliver all the proper messages. It shows that you are strong, independent, and assured which are all attractive traits. It reveals your girlfriend that though you really want her in your existence, you don't need to have her in your everyday life to be pleased. It says to her, you may possibly not want to be aspect of my existence appropriate now, but if you're not then you're going to be lacking out on something wonderful because I refuse to sit about begging, pleading, apologizing, and being depressed. Lifestyle is too brief for all that. I'm going to be ok no make a difference what.

Do you see why this is so strong? Until eventually you're gone, she can't miss you. Even if you're not seeing her, just sending texts or calling her nevertheless suggests you're around and she can't miss you. Soon after a breakup, you really should do your greatest to stay away from all speak to for at minimum a few of weeks. If she calls missing you, don't just drop every thing and rush more than to see her. Otherwise you give all the energy back to her and chances are the subsequent day she'll sense like she made a mistake.

When she feels you're shifting on with your existence and she may lose you for very good, then she'll begin earning the energy to get you back instead. If she doesn't, then odds are she actually is really above you and has made a decision you're not the correct man for her. If this is the case, then you must accept it, but by letting her go in the very first put, you have presently ready all by yourself for the worst.

Letting her go is really tricky. It's agonizing and you will sense like you're tearing your personal heart out. But some unlucky souls entirely fall short and get dumped. What do they do now to get them to appear back again?

What to say to a woman to get her back is often an unanswered query. But we will go over some issues you can say to get her to arrive operating back again. Points can be restored to their former state with some persistence and good preparation and the ideal points to say. Make her think exceptional and allow her in on how substantially you treatment for her. Say the appropriate items, and she will have no selection but to come back again.

Here are some methods to go about it.

one. Initial items initial, do not stalk her! Most of the time guys can get desperate and continue to keep calling her, often even behaving fairly rudely.

Relationship Help: Why Do I Get So Upset with My Partner


Q: I need some relationship help. While I love my husband with all my heart, sometimes it's just so frustrating being married to him. When I feel that he's ignoring me, I get so upset, and he's usually surprised by the intensity of my reaction. Why do I get so upset with him? ~Lynn, Carlsbad CA

A: Thanks for the question, Lynn. Here are some thoughts that might help shed light on your experience:

It is extremely distressing to feel as if your words and actions have no impact (or no longer matter) to your spouse/partner—to think that someone whom you love deeply is no longer engaged fully in the relationship or interested in what's important to you can be extremely painful.

When you feel like your spouse/partner is not being responsive to you (and to your needs), two outcomes become likely:

1. Initially, you may "up the ante" in order to have some kind of impact on your spouse/partner-- this might involve yelling, becoming more provocative, elevating your emotional responses, acting in ways that are uncharacteristic for you (in attachment literature these types of reactions are called "protest" behaviors—your protests are a reflection of losing something extremely important to you; this can be the love of your partner, the security of your relationship, or both).

Is it fair to say that at some point most of us would react negatively (protest) if we perceived our spouse/partner to be unavailable and unresponsive to our needs?

2. When you feel ignored for extended periods of time, your sense of despair can turn into feelings of hopelessness—you give up on trying to engage your spouse/partner and begin to retreat (this is a self-protective behavior—in essence, you're cutting your loses). This may take the form of indifference, withdrawal behaviors, and disengaging from the relationship in general (and the responsibilities that are a part of the relationship).

Typically a protest reaction isn't random: Protest behaviors (getting really upset when your partner isn't responding in predictable ways that make you feel secure in the relationship) occur in a particular context; and the triggering event is usually feeling anxious about losing the security of your relationship.

Relationship Help: Let's break down this reaction:

An unresponsive/disengaged/uninterested partner =>

triggers increased anxiety and worry in the other partner, who then =>

attempts to reengage the unresponsive partner (for example, "We need to talk," or "What's wrong?") =>

and if the other partner is still not responsive, protest behaviors are triggered.

Your protest behaviors (whether your protest behaviors are perceived as nagging, pestering, yelling, or some kind of increased emotionality like anger) are in effect attempts to try and correct the problem—ideally it's an attention-grabbing reaction that will let your spouse know that something is wrong that needs fixing.

Think of protest behaviors as an alarm sounding in an effort to grab your partner's attention to what needs to be addressed.

Marital/relationship problems can arise when these temporary reactions (feeling one's spouse/partner is unconcerned and unresponsive) are not addressed and become ingrained patterns.

I hope this sheds some light on why you seem to get so upset with your spouse (or why we all get upset with our spouse/partner at times). Whenever we allow a loved one special access to our hearts, feeling ignored by this person is going to feel like a major deal.